30 Powerful Life Lessons from My 30s for Success, Health, and Happiness
Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash.
Reading time: 12 minutes
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Introduction
In this post, I share 30 different insights I realized after turning 30. My hope is that some of these may be useful for reflection for both younger and older readers. Your twenties are often exciting, but they can also be filled with confusion as you navigate career choices, relationships, and personal growth. You can feel rudderless trying to find out who we are. The insights presented in this post are broken down across 4 different categories: 1) Career and financial insights, 2) Physical and mental wellbeing, 3) Personal growth and development, and 4) Relationships and social connections.
30 Life Lessons I Learned by Age 30 for Personal Growth, Success, and Well-Being
A) Career and financial insights:
1. Prioritize a healthy work-life balance for long-term career satisfaction and well-being
Who hasn’t heard of career-focused individuals who have pushed themselves so hard to achieve a high level of success in their career, only to end up feeling empty towards the later stages of life? For many professionals, retirement can be agonizing and isolating, particularly if they haven’t developed interests or meaningful relationships outside of work.
In my teens and twenties, I idealized the importance of a career. It wasn't until my thirties that I grasped the significant tradeoff existing for most of us between career success and lasting happiness. While pursuing goals can be meaningful, true fulfilment requires a balance of multiple dimensions of life.
Are your working really hard in your career because you have a genuine passion, curiosity, and interest in the field, or is it being driven by external factors such as the attainment of respect, money, power, or fame? Be aware that the odds are stacked against you here; the data suggests you are very unlikely to find fulfilment through your job: employees feel increasingly stressed and and disengaged in the workplace.
2. Time is money, but more importantly, money is time
You often hear that “time is money”, suggesting that wasting time equates to wasting potential earnings or opportunities to maximize financial success. But even more significant, in my opinion, is the less frequently mentioned concept “money is time”. In my early thirties, I became very mindful and intentional with my spending. I felt that I worked very hard to earn my paycheck and I wanted to be sure I was honoring that effort - that I was spending money only on things that bring me and my loved ones true joy. Money is time: intentionally creating a less spendy lifestyle has also meant I can afford to work part time - increasing my free time whilst still managing to achieve reasonable savings goals.
3. Master the art of saying “no” to reclaim your time and boost productivity
A first approach here is to internalize the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, which states that roughly 80% of outcomes come from 20% of causes or inputs. If a minority of our efforts are yielding the majority of our results, we need to be very careful to what we are saying “yes” to. A second way of approaching this is to think that every time we say “yes” to someone we are saying “no” to someone or something else. There is no free lunch here.
4. Stop seeking approval: Focus on self-improvement and intrinsic motivation for long-term happiness
A lot of young high achievers are extrinsically motivated, sometimes without realizing it. Their motivation might stem from seeking approval, either from peers or, more frequently, from their boss. Unfortunately, exclusively pursuing this approach leaves our well-being up to external circumstances over which we don’t have full control. For example, we may need to be lucky with having a good boss or rely on his or her good mood on a given day. Instead, try to adopt an attitude of doing your very best just because that is who you are. By focusing on yourself - on adding value in each scenario to the best of your ability, you will always be satisfied with the outcome, and not look out for external validation. I wish I had learned this lesson earlier - praise and acknowledgment are nice to have, it is a nice “extra”, but it is dangerous to have as our main motivation.
5. Always negotiate your salary to increase your earning potential and set yourself up for financial success
No matter the circumstances, get into the habit of always negotiating your salary. Your employer expects it - she knows how the game is played and, if anything, will recognize that you are striving to set yourself up in the best possible way. Not negotiating your salary not only leaves money on the table now, but can potentially affect your income trajectory throughout your entire career. There is a huge wealth of information out there on how to learn the basics, so try to acquire this habit as early as possible.
6. Avoid risky investment trends: focus on low-cost, diversified index funds for long-term financial stability
For the last decade I have witnessed friends and family make big financial mistakes by engaging in risky investment strategies–the latest startup, the technology that was supposed to revolutionize our world, the latest crypto currency. It is important to understand deep down that greed is our biggest enemy when it comes to investing and that these risky ventures are not appropriate for the vast majority of retail investors. Instead, learn about passive investing in low-cost, internationally-diversified index funds. Slow and steady is less glamorous, but slow and steady wins the race.
7. Making money does not equal being wealthy
Realize that having a high salary and owning flashy gadgets does not mean someone is financially wealthy. In many cases, high-earning workers are not far from living paycheck to paycheck. Generally, someone with a lower salary but a higher savings rate is in a better financial situation. As demonstrated in “The Millionaire Next Door”, the majority of people who truly enjoy financial wealth typically practice “stealth wealth” and are not obsessed with material possessions. Money is a tool and the true value of wealth is in providing you with freedom and time.
8. Embrace minimalism and define what is “enough” for financial independence and contentment
Seneca wrote that the proper limit to wealth was,“first, having what is essential, and second, having what is enough”. You can either adopt an attitude of gratitude for what life is offering you and reap the benefits of a calm and happy life or you can decide to chase after what others have. Unfortunately, the latter strategy is a never-ending path with no winners that ends, in a lot of cases, in a very unbalanced life or in outright misery.
B) Physical and mental well-being:
In your thirties you realize for the first time that you are not invincible and that you should take better care of your body. In this category, I highlight briefly 7 different strategies for physical and mental wellbeing.
9. Commit to regular strenuous exercise for improved physical fitness, mental health, and longevity
Unless you were an athlete, there is no reason you can’t be in a better shape in your 30s than you were in your 20s. Commit to strenuous exercise routine at least 2 or 3 days a week. Exercise not only strengthens your body but also boosts mood, improves cardiovascular health, and enhances overall vitality.
10. Prioritize a balanced, nutrient-rich diet to enhance energy, support digestion, and boost overall health
When you are young, you can often indulge in unhealthy eating habits or excessive partying without facing immediate consequences. In your thirties, though, your body starts to give you some warnings, which we should pay attention to. Taking care of your diet is a cornerstone for optimal health. Focus on consuming a variety of nutrient-rich foods, including fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats. Limit processed foods and sugar to support energy levels, digestion, and immune function.
11. Incorporate meditation into your daily routine to reduce stress, improve mental clarity, and enhance emotional well-being
Meditation is thought to have tremendous health benefits, e.g., stress reduction, improved emotional well-being, enhanced focus and concentration, better sleep, increased self-awareness, strenghtened immune system, reduced blood pressure, enhanced creativity, greater resilience to challenges, spiritual growth, or long-term psychological benefits. Many ancient philosophical traditions engage in different forms of meditation. There is a reason why billions of people have continuously practiced this for centuries. Thankfully, technology makes it very accessible to beginners (e.g., Headspace).
12. Try cold exposure therapy to improve circulation, boost immunity, and enhance mental resilience
Wether it is a cold shower, ice bathing or jumping in the river in winter, it is amazing how many health benefits this tinny action can provide: enhanced immunity, reduced inflammation, better metabolism, improved mental health, improved circulation, increased energy and alertness, better sleep, reduced stress, increased testosterone levels, enhanced mental resilience, longevity benefits… Start out slowly by aiming to use cold water in the last 2-3 minutes of your shower. For motivation and to learn more about the benefits, you can follow Andrew Huberman for the latest science on cold exposure.
13. Prioritize quality sleep to improve cognitive function, boost productivity, and enhance overall well-being
(I would recommend readers with babies or young kids to go ahead and skip to the next point). Sleep is crucial for our overall health and well-being. It serves a vital time for our bodies to rest, repair, and rejuvenate. Adequate sleep supports cognitive function, emotional regulation, and immune function, contributing to better mood, higher productivity, and improved physical health. Consistent, quality sleep is important for optimal performance in daily activities, mental clarity, and long-term health, making it a cornerstone of a healthy lifestyle.
14. Try intermittent fasting to boost metabolism, support weight loss, and enhance overall health
Intermittent fasting is a dietary approach that involves cycling between periods of eating and fasting. This practice has been shown to promote weight loss, improve metabolic health, increase cellular repair processes, and may even support brain health and longevity. I follow a 16/8 fasting approach, where several times per week I stop eating at 8pm in the evening and don’t ingest any food until noon of the next day. Read and experiment about different fasting protocols to find what works best for your body. If you have any health issues, it is best to consult with your doctor first.
15. Stay hydrated to improve energy levels, support digestion, and maintain optimal health
This seems obvious but it is amazing to see how little water adults around me typically drink. Proper hydration is key to maintaining optimal health and vitality. Drinking plenty of water throughout the day supports digestion, nutrient absorption, detoxification, and overall cellular function. Listen to your body's thirst cues and aim to consume at least 8-10 glasses of water daily.
C) Personal growth and development:
16. Focus on what you can control
According to the Stoics, of our most important choices in life is to concern ourselves only with things over which we have control. In life there are 1) things we can control, 2) things we cannot control, and 3) things over which we have only partial control. We should go about our day performing a triage where we arrange elements of life into these three categories. Focus on items from the first category, and brush aside the items from the second category, since it is a waste of time and energy worrying about things over which we have no agency (e.g., about events in the past that cannot be undone). For items over which we have only partial control, we should set internal goals (e.g., playing our tennis match to the best of our abilities) rather than external goals or expected outcomes (e.g., winning the match). Embracing the present moment and directing our efforts and attention towards what can be influenced fosters a sense of tranquility by releasing the grip on what lies outside of our agency.
17. Shift from self-centeredness to empathy and selflessness for deeper relationships and personal fulfillment
We should strive to move away from a self-centered attitude towards one that is more aligned with others. In our twenties, we tend to be very focused on ourselves. Although there is an important element of self-discovery during this decade, focusing too strongly on ourselves will not leave us in a good place in the long-term. For many, growing a family represents, unknowingly, an organic shift away from self-centeredness to serving others. Having a family helps, but is not a necessary condition: developing a genuine sense of concern for others is an important strategy to reduce the focus on ourselves and to increase our chances of leading a happier life. The Dalai Lama refers to this as “selfish wisdom”.
18. Embrace change with flexibility and resilience to reduce stress and increase personal growth
Much of what causes heartache is wanting things to be different than they are. When we cling too tightly to our expectations or to how we would like the day-to-day to unfold, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and frustration, stress, and anxiety. Instead, acknowledging deep down the impermanent nature of life and of any given situation will allow us to pass through unexpected difficulties more easily. Having a more relaxed attitude to how reality unfolds also means we may adapt more easily to what each situation requireswe will have more headspace and energy to face each challenge.
19. Cultivate resilience to face life’s challenges, overcome obstacles, and foster emotional strength
Expecting life to be easy or to go as planned is like expecting figs in winter, it is simply not the nature of life. Embrace resilience: every challenge and every obstacle that arises is not a chance for frustration, but a chance to learn and an opportunity for personal growth. The Stoics would see each daily challenge as a chance we are given to practice and perfect the four Stoic virtues of justice, courage, temperance, and wisdom. Discomfort is growth.
20. Move beyond a performance-based identity to focus on inner values and build authentic self-worth
When we tie our identity exclusively to external achievements or success, we risk constantly seeking validation from others and measuring our worth by arbitrary standards. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and burnout. Acknowledge that accomplishments (e.g., in your career) are just one of the many ingredients to a good life–it is dangerous to focus too strongly on this at the expense of other important dimensions. Moving away from a performance-based identity is crucial for fostering genuine self-worth and fulfilment. By shifting our focus towards internal values, personal growth, and meaningful connections, we can cultivate a sense of authenticity and inner peace that transcends external validation.
21. Practice daily gratitude to improve mental health, enhance relationships, and increase happiness
Embracing gratitude enhances overall well-being by fostering a positive mindset and appreciation for life's blessings. Gratitude is the recognition of all that holds us in the web of life and all that has made it possible to have the life that we have and the moment we are experiencing. It’s not happiness that makes us grateful, it is gratefulness that makes us happy. Embracing gratitude cultivates resilience, reduces stress, and strengthens relationships, leading to greater happiness and fulfilment.
22. Find inner contentment and peace by focusing on personal fulfillment and letting go of external validation
Seneca said that “nothing (…) is better proof of a well ordered mind than a man’s ability to stop just where he is and pass some time in his own company”. In our twenties, we are overly eager, focusing on externals, and wanting to jump around from place to place. Unfortunately, while you are here doing this you fear that you should be there and doing that. Generally, the younger we are the more prone we are to experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out). Avoid this anxiety stopping the jumping around; learn to stay put, enjoy your simple day-to-day routines, and find contentment within yourself.
23. Avoid chasing fame or social status—focus on living authentically for lasting fulfillment and personal peace
Stoics argue that people are unhappy because they are confused about what is valuable–one of those things being fame. People fail to realize that fame–whether worldwide or just the admiration of neighbours and colleagues–comes at a steep price. We should be reluctant to do anything that will give others power over our own freedom. By always trying to please others, we lose agency over our life. Consider also that to win the admiration of others you will have to adopt their values, and these are likely to be at odds with gaining the tranquility and fulfilment we seek.
24. Maintain a balanced perspective by focusing on long-term trends rather than daily news for emotional stability
Keep a holistic view of the world and beware of the news, which tends to highlight unusual and negative events to grab your attention. Of course there are negative things occurring every day, but at the same time many more positive ones take place in our world that are not “news-worthy”. Keep this wider perspective and sense of proportion and you will not feel despair in the face of sad events. In addition, remember point #16 and acknowledge that most of these negative events are very far from your control. Focus your energy instead on where you can make an impact.
25. Use humor as a tool to defuse anger, reduce stress, and maintain emotional balance
In many cases we let ourselves be overwhelmed by relatively minor incidences. Unfortunately, our anger typically lasts longer than the damage that was done to us by the event in the first place. One strategy is to choose to think of the bad thing that happened to us as something funny rather than outrageous–to think of ourselves as hopeless actors in someone else’s absurdist play. Another technique is to reflect on the impermanence of things; the event in question is not only completely trivial in the big scheme of things, but even in our own lives it is something that we will never remember in a few weeks, months, or years time.
26. Regularly reflect on mortality to increase mindfulness, live with purpose, and appreciate the present moment
We should periodically reflect on our mortality. Every now and then, we should pause and reflect on the fact that we won’t live forever and that this day could be our last. This reminder will make us appreciate how wonderful it is to be alive and will increase our enjoyment of life.
D) Relationships and Social Connections:
27. Build a supportive network of individuals who inspire personal growth, self-improvement, and long-term success
It is often said that we become the average of those we spend time with, so lets choose companions wisely. Focus on assessing character rather than achievements, seeking out virtuous individuals who nurture personal development. Generally, I prioritize spending time with with people who I feel can make me become a better person.
28. Practice social acceptance and compassion by understanding that others may not consciously choose their faults
Instead of harboring unrealistic expectations for others to change, adopt an attitude of acceptance and compassion, recognizing that attempting to alter someone's fundamental nature may be futile and result in frustration. Embrace the notion that everyone is on their own unique journey. Focusing on understanding and accepting people as they are can lead to more harmonious and fulfilling relationships.
29. Build relationships with people of all ages to gain new perspectives, wisdom, and life insights
In my thirties, I realized for the first time the importance of building relationships with people of different ages. It not only helps broaden our perspectives and enrich our lives, but it is really important to better understand how our own lives may evolve in the future. My understanding of life in my thirties is very different than it was in my twenties, and I imagine it will continue to change over time. Surrounding yourself with different ages allows you to anticipate certain changes and learn from their experience.
30. Seek out role models to guide your personal development, inspire growth, and help you cultivate virtuous habits
Seneca recommends that we go about our day keeping our role model (or models) constantly before our eyes, and that we live as if he or she were watching out for each and every one of our moves. At a smaller scale, I also find useful to continuously reflect on the positive traits found in people around you. What specific virtuous trait does the person in front of you have that you could incorporate for yourself? If you are open enough, you may find positive traits worth admiring in almost everyone, which may support your continuous journey of personal growth.
Enjoyed this post? Don’t miss our post on 10 financial habits to master by age 30 for financial success or on the importance of choosing financial freedom over status.
